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Meditation for stress relief and personal development

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  • #61
    I went to see Grandad tonight. He looked a little brighter in himself, but kept on dozing off. I noticed his stats were dropping markedly each time he nodded off. As he wasn’t particularly chatty we just sorted stuff out for him, cleaning his glasses and making sure they were on in the right position with the oxygen mask, putting replacement batteries in his hearing aids. I need to phone to get him a new supply of batteries tomorrow.

    He mentioned feeling depressed so we have sorted out his tv for the next few days to give him something to do as he is still being a bit doddery. I had to hold his drinking glass and move the straw into the right position for him so he could drink, as he just can’t be bothered.

    The consultants says that he responding well to treatment, but it’s going to be a long job to get him home. The chaplain came into see him as well. Grandad remembered him from when Nana was in hospital. He performed the Annointing of the sick sacrament on her, which pleased her, until she realised its other name is the Last Rites!

    I hope that we get him back home, as I need him in my life. It doesn’t matter what we are doing he is always interested in it, and he is always on my side no matter whether I am wrong or right. After an argument I had with my Mam, in which I was completely in the wrong, he pulled me into the hall and hugged me and slipped a twenty pound note into my back pocket. Then he went and told Mam that she should make friends with me as we only had each other, and I was just a bairn! I was thirty, but I guess that I will always be just a bairn to him.

    Thanks for the good wishes, it helps knowing that people are thinking of him and wishing him well.

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    • #62
      Best of, Sparky, and best of to your Grandad too. I can promise you that one’s grandchildren are always children, even more than one’s children. Even though they have responsible jobs and adult committments!

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      • #63
        Originally posted by mcitr View Post
        I think Insight Timer is terrible, but some people get on with it all right.


        Imho you can't really teach anyone meditation/mindfulness,
        Insight Timer: I agree that an app alone will never help as much as contact with live people on a course.

        As for "you can't teach anyone mindfulness/meditation" , I agree with the philosophical point that with such things you can really only lead the horse to water, and that learning and doing meditation requires personal effort and committment. However doing a course (live is better but online is certainly better than nothing) is more likely to be helpful than doing nothing, which is what most people are doing. The comparative studies have been done, and the results are conclusive! Working with a teacher is helpful. After all, out of the hundreds of thousands of meditators in the world, very few if any were born knowing the practice. Also, a course such as MBSR contains a lot of valuable background material and exercises which even experienced meditators may not have come across.

        The rule with the body (which includes the brain) is that what you practice becomes stronger. At the moment a lot of us spend our time exercising our capacity for worrying, which means that we have trained ourself into Olympic standard catastrophists and stress-heads. Of course it's difficult to change that, but it can be done.

        I started this topic nine years ago now. If you had started practice then, you would have transformed your life completely several years ago!

        sparkybw I suspect the difficulty is that most professional psychotherapists will want complete control over the environment where the therapy is done. I've done my bit in workplace and home therapy, and I wouldn't do it again without a lot of safeguards in place.
        However it should be easy to find a therapist who will see your grandfather on a weekly basis at the therapist's office or home office - I realise that is out of the question for him at the moment in hospital. Perhaps it is possible to play some of his favourite music, that will be very helpful to him.
        Also, there is a brilliant organisation called Cruse Bereavement Care who will often do home visits. They use volunteers who are befrienders rather than professional therapists, and who have often been recently bereaved themselves, but have gone a way towards resolving their own grief..
        ....just my opinion

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        • #64
          Originally posted by DavidS View Post

          Insight Timer: I agree that an app alone will never help as much as contact with live people on a course.

          As for "you can't teach anyone mindfulness/meditation" , I agree with the philosophical point that with such things you can really only lead the horse to water, and that learning and doing meditation requires personal effort and committment. However doing a course (live is better but online is certainly better than nothing) is more likely to be helpful than doing nothing, which is what most people are doing. The comparative studies have been done, and the results are conclusive! Working with a teacher is helpful. After all, out of the hundreds of thousands of meditators in the world, very few if any were born knowing the practice. Also, a course such as MBSR contains a lot of valuable background material and exercises which even experienced meditators may not have come across.
          I have been to a lot of of lessons. I bump into a lot of groups that run courses or lessons (usually for a lot of money) that run for six sessions, ten sessions. I bump into a very large number of people that want to try mindfulness/meditation. I meet a lot of very enthusiastic people who think that it can be easily passed onto others. The vast majority don't continue. Maybe 50% get something out of it. It's very marmite.

          The OU course was quoted as there is someone I know who has done that.

          Originally posted by DavidS View Post
          I started this topic nine years ago now. If you had started practice then, you would have transformed your life completely several years ago!
          Cheers for that bizarre dig. I started mindfulness five years ago. How would you know whether it has changed my life or not? Also loving the arrogance.

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          • #65
            mcitr The "you" wasn't "just-you", actually, but "anyone-including-you".

            Sorry for any misunderstanding. It's been a while since anyone thought I was arrogant, though!

            However I stand by my statement, anyone using the system and resources I put on here on the 1st February 2012 would have long ago realised the first, or psychological, stage of enlightenment. The system itself says this is an achievable goal for any intelligent and committed healthy westerner, in 100 days of committed daily practice. I admit now that it took me around three or four years, because there were things I didn't want to change at first, so I wasn't sufficiently committed.
            I'll copy the post below (apologies if it doesn't come out).

            ================================================== ===================================


            I notice there is a new free site devoted to my favourite meditation system for the secular or religious westerner,
            http://guidestoenlightenment.com .

            The two books can be read and searched on-site, questions can be asked/answered.

            The meditation method itself is at 2.3.2 The practice of meditation. | Guides to Enlightenment

            ....just my opinion

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            • #66
              Just going to write an update on Grandad. Since I last posted here, he has been in hospital twice! During his first admission his diuretic was stopped, I have no idea why, but the result was that he started bloating with fluid. By the time he was due to be discharged he had put on so much weight that he had a three inch gap between the button and buttonhole on his trousers. After a week at home getting increasingly bloated he was taken back to hospital, started on intravenous furosemide and then discharged once he had dried out again. He had to go back in again last week with fluid retention but they managed to get on top of that again and made a change to his medication and sent him home. Hopefully he is there for good.

              One thing that has become perfectly clear is that while he is lonely, it’s not ‘people’ that he wants with him, it’s family. As you can imagine that is causing huge strain in the family as all the local females work full time, meaning that the bulk of care is on my two uncles, both of whom are self employed, one is retired and working as a consultant, the other is a property developer. Half of the family isn’t speaking to the other half, and nobody thinks that anybody is doing as much as them and the rest should get their fingers out! Oh, boy!

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              • #67
                Sparky ... even though you and I have had our issues here, I sincerely wish you all the best with him (and I truly mean that).

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                • sparkybw
                  sparkybw commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thanks for that. Grandad has had a couple more visits to hospital but the consultant says that is how it will be from now on. We just need to keep an eye on him and if he seems as though he is retaining too much fluid they will take him back into hospital for intravenous diuretics until he dries out again.

              • #68
                Do your job well. And switch off.
                Last edited by Primrose; 28th, September 2018, 03:57 PM.

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                • #69
                  Originally posted by Primrose View Post
                  Do your job well. And switch off.
                  Or get a dog! My new dog has transformed our house and we haven’t laughed so much in years. Her name is Ruth but Mam thinks it should be Dora the explorer as she gets into various nooks and crannies and then brings us gifts of socks and dust bunnies! A couple of days after we got her as I was getting ready for work I realised that I hadn’t seen her for a while. After calling ‘Ruth’ and getting no response I started looking for her and found her stuck under the sofa with her beady black eyes looking helplessly at me. I had to lift up the sofa to get her out!

                  She had her last vaccination last week so today she’s been playing ‘fetch’ on the beach at Seaham, and then a walk on the promenade at Roker. People led are all over her when we are out and the kids love her. Luckily she seems to like them too. One man at Roker said she was the best thing that he had ever seen in Sunderland! No one ever says that about me! It reminds me of when we got our other dog Skye. Mam’s cousin said if he got the wool, would we knit him one as well!

                  I’m besotted by her as you can probably tell.

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                  • #70
                    Ah the promenade at Roker. The Roker Hotel. Is it still there; haven't been back for at least thirty years.

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                    • #71
                      Glitch; duplicated.

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                      • #72
                        Originally posted by Merlyn View Post
                        Ah the promenade at Roker. The Roker Hotel. Is it still there; haven't been back for at least thirty years.
                        There has been a fair bit of change in the area but the Roker hotel is still standing with an envious view over the docks and North Sea. Here’s a link, https://rokerhotel.co.uk/

                        The last time that I was at the hotel was about 18months ago when I won a meal for two in their Italian Farmhouse restaurant. I took Mam and Grandad and had a lovely meal. Another link. https://theitalianfarmhouse.co.uk/roker

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                        • #73
                          Thanks Sparky. There was a map on the Italian Farmhouse site and I found the road where I used to lodge. Strange to see houses behind the hotel, though! The football ground was there in my day!

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                          • #74
                            Originally posted by Merlyn View Post
                            Thanks Sparky. There was a map on the Italian Farmhouse site and I found the road where I used to lodge. Strange to see houses behind the hotel, though! The football ground was there in my day!
                            The new stadium is built over an old mine site now near to the river though I think their capacity to play football has fallen down the shaft there! But you shouldn’t mock the afflicted! I’ve spent a fair bit of time round there catching Pokemon as it’s a Pokemon gym!

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                            • #75
                              Yes; it's the old Monkwearmouth mine isn't it? Not sorry to see mining itself go, but my miner relatives sued to talk about the camaraderie.

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