A bit of fun on a sunny day!

[Fleegle]

It's a lovely day here on Ireland's west coast, and I'm doing a quiet Saturday locum in a great little pharmacy on the shores of Lough Derg. My able assistant, Madge, was preparing the coffee and buttered scones when I suddenly realised how good being a locum can actually be.

Our last customer was a local farmer who needed batteries for his 'earphone' (hearing aid), which brought back memories of some of the strange requests I've had from customers in the many pharmacies I've covered over the years.

Here are a few...

A box of paramacetamol
A bottle of benny lynch
Spaceman's balls for me mam (specimen bottles)
Four cans of Carlsberg Special Brew
Clarins stockings (The sign read 'now stocking Clarins')
Arsunol ointment for the piles doon below
"Have you got my giraffe?" (Ma Griffe perfume)

Add a few of your own...pharmacy can be fun!

Fleegle

[Jeff]

"Something for me spirits"
"You're feeling a little down?"
"Well me husband died"
"That's bound to leave you upset"
"I'm not upset - it's for me husbands spirit"
"I thought you said he'd died?"
"Yes - but the b'stard has come back to haunt me - and I want summat to get rid of 'is spirit"

"Ah - now I understand - hold on I've some sulphur out the back - just sprinkle some of it on your doorsteps and window sills"

Ah the good old days

Jeff

[SolomonQ]

Imagine yourself in the midlands

Customer: "can I have some NAITUL please" (read to self or imagine being said in the most scottish of scottish accents, i.e. x10 that of sir alex).

Pharmacy/counter Assistant: "sorry!!!"

Customer: "some naitul please"

Pharmacy/counter Assistant looks at me witha confused look, i've overheared all this, me thinks and a light bulb flashed in my head, all in a mini second

me: is it for sleeping?

customer: yes

I kinda nod towards the nytol, me: He wants some nytol (directed at assisstant)!!!

Pharmacy/counter Assistant: oh nytol!!!

10 sec later customer leaves with a pack of nytol

LMAO, , fellow countrymen (British) cant understand each other, and im the one meant to be the foreign scum.

[laurabuk]

I had a rather strange one today ...

A lovely young lady was using Imodium to treat her toothache She meant to say ibuprofen! suffice to say she was a tad embarrassed when she realised what imodium was!!!

[Fleegle]

Nice one Laurabuk!

Here's one from Edinburgh a few years ago...

A young fella approaches the dispensary, scratching like there's no tomorrow, and presents a script for Betnovate ointment tid..I dispense it, council him (sparingly, etc) and he leaves the shop. I glimpse him outside plastering it all over the 'affected area'.

He then re-enters the shop, tube in hand, and gives it straight back to me, half-used. When I ask him why he's giving it back, he says "Ih yoo stoopit? It says on the label NOT TO BE TAKEN"...

[JonF]

Originally Posted by SolomonQ

LMAO, , fellow countrymen (British) cant understand each other, and im the one meant to be the foreign scum.

Why do most of your posts end up about race?? I would guess most countries have regional dialects which other areas of the same country find hard to understand. Its what makes each country distinctive. If we all spoke in the same way it would be rather dull?!

[lamzee]

Inderella --inderal-la
Semtex --zantac
Bombers --glycerine suppositories

[laurabuk]

How about the classic anti-inflammables???

[johannes]

ParaCementol anyone?

[Sir_Dispensalot]

"A packet of cuprinol please"
"Sorry madam we don't sell woodstains any more. Would you like a box of cuprofen instead?"
(i was in a silly mood)

"A tube of immyovaty please"
"Immyovaty? I'm sorry, i haven't heard of that - let me just see if we have anything in the back that i can order for you. How do you spell it? With an I?"
"No! Eumo-"
"ooooohhh! Eumovate! *slaps own forehead for not being brighter*"

another regular one - ibuPURofen
Sandys Throat Sander - Sanderson's throat specific

and a colleague told me of the time someone came in asking for "Anus Oil". He was just about to tell them that we weren't that sort of store and would he like some KY jelly when he twigged. The patient wanted a tube of anusol!