Fleegle's Blog. Feel free to add YOUR opinion.

[Fleegle]

I've worked Tipp Town, and the North Riding...(God's country)..This is pure class from Maur Fitz...

Choose the Tipp way of life….

Choose hurling as the game of choice. Choose Semple Stadium as Mecca.
Choose to sit in a leaky stand every weekend watching average games. Watch
the girls go by with fake tan dripping from the night before.
Choose getting plastered every weekend as the recreational activity of choice,
while you recount the memories every week until you start the whole cycle again..

Choose your diet… breakfast rolls, curried chips, snack boxes, taytos, cidona and lucozade

Choose whether to travel up to Croker the day before or the morning of
the big match...
Choose whether or not to take home that girl you met in Flannery’s.....
Choose a big mighty fry before the match in your sisters place....
Choose too many pints before the match.....
Choose the Big Tree after the match....
Choose to go on the piss win or lose


Choose to be a Garda, Civil Servant, plasterer, carpenter, plumber,
electrician, nurse or maybe an accountant
Choose a flat in Drumcondra, Phibsboro, Rathmines, Kimmage....
Choose Mulligans, the Portobello, Flannerys, Coppers, Quinns.....
Choose to treat Camden Street as if it is the square in Thurles except with more taxis...
Choose Dano's, Hayes' Maximus for weekends at home and for meeting your wife....
Choose The Royal for fights with the Tipp Town boys when you're 16...

Choose the V Gap, Galteemore the 'Swiss' Cottage
Choose calving cows at 12 and driving the Massey Ferguson at 13 (on the road!!)...
Choose a two hour drive to Newport for a feile semi final, getting lost in Limerick City on the way.
Choose your manager instructing your mother 'sure we'll go back over the mountains. I don't care how bad the roads are they couldn't be worse than that c^%t of a place'
Choose u-14 managers who are priests or mountain men with big bellies and mad hair.

Choose to leave your place of birth at the tender age of 17....
Choose to go to college in Cork, UL, UCD or get the start with the big
brother in Dublin....
Choose only to return home for Christmas, Easter, the local town
festival, Championship fixtures....
Choose whether or not to apply for a job in the one local factory and
accept half your current wage in the hope that life will be better than
the rat race in the big smoke..

Choose the Canaries for holidays....
Choose Bulmers, Proctor and Gamble, a random creamery or meat factory for work
Choose Dell for a computer......
Choose the nationalist, Tipp FM.
Choose beating the hockers in the west final before being trounced by the greyhounds
or sars inside in the stadium
Choose to hate Limerick hurling fans......
Choose to really hate Clare.............
Choose shouting abuse at Davy Fitz from the Blackrock end.......
Choose knowing Declan Brown as the only footballer in the county...
Choose seeing Paul Ormonde in the Dunnes car park in Thurles as a celeb sighting....
Choose The Pogues play Kilcommon Festival!!!!..............

Choose long summer days in the fields, drawing silage at midnight, going to
the local mart as a big day out....
Choose your first car… a souped up Jap import,or a 20 year old Nissan Patrol jeep on your mothers insurance…..
don't tax it until you are caught....
Choose the site your father leaves you and build an unimaginatively
designed mansion on it.

Choose the two teacher schools for primary education, the C.B.S in
town for secondary....
Choose to go down town for lunch, play pool in the pub, hope the convent
girls notice you....
Choose getting a pint in the local at 16,
choose to stand outside the church at Sunday mass, but go every week all the same.

Choose passing the Rock of Cashel every day but only going in once every 25 years.
Choose train-stations, stud farms and cattle marts........
Choose getting caught behind the milk lorry.......
Choose Michael Lowery at your granny's funeral......
Choose Killaloe or Aherlow for your wedding.......
Choose pot holes and bends.

Choose being able to put the name of someone you know to every character in Killinaskully
Choose being a bit rough around the edges
Choose flat accents
Choose hitting the raz in Templemore for a night as being a bit different
Choose Rockwell and thinking Denis Leamy should be on the Lions Tour.
Choose horse racing, coursing and Fleadh Ceol
Choose two Ballingarrys and three Kilcommons
Choose one Twomileborris, one Ninemilehouse and one Horse And Jockey
Choose Grangemokler, Cappawhite and Borrisoleigh

Choose Dan Breen, Liam Lynch and CJ Kickham
Choose Tommy Dunne, Babs and Sean Kelly
Choose fishing the Suir in Golden and trying to keep it out of your house in Clonmel
Choose Kellys, Ryans, Mahers and O'Dywers
Choose Fran Curry
Choose…
TIPPERARY

[johnep]

I have fond memories of Tipperary. Used to visit co in Roscrea.
johnep

[Fleegle]

I have followed Rugby Union since I learned how to walk. This incident is, in my opinion, the lowest and most despicable act I have ever witnessed within the code. For those of you unfamiliar with this incident, carried out by HARLEQUINS RFC, whose home ground is THE STOOP, adjacent to TWICKENHAM STADIUM, LONDON, read on...

Dean Richards banned for three years



Williams left the field with fake blood pouring from his mouth against Leinster. The fake blood capsule had allegedly been secreted in his sock.

Ex-Harlequins director of rugby Dean Richards has been banned from coaching in European competition for three years for his role in the fake blood injury. Tom Williams faked injury to allow fly-half Nick Evans to return to the field illegally in a Heineken Cup tie against Leinster, in an attempt to score a last minute drop-goal so Harlequins could cheat their way into the next round of the competition. Luckily he missed the kick.
Winger Williams's initial 12-month ban has now been reduced to four months.
Quins' fine was increased to £259,000 but European Rugby Cup (ERC) stopped short of the ultimate sanction of throwing them out of this year's Cup.
The original fine of 250,000 euros (£206,000) had been half suspended, but the new amount is payable in full.

However, Harlequins will be relieved not to have been thrown out of this season's Heineken Cup, which might have cost them 15% of their annual revenue.
Physiotherapist Steph Brennan was handed a two-year ban after an admission of guilt, but the appeal committee dismissed the charge against Dr Wendy Chapman from the club's medical staff.
Former England forward Richards, who resigned from his position as director of rugby at Quins last weekend, was also found to have been involved in four similar incidents, hence the severity of his punishment.
Reacting to his ban, Richards said: "I'm surprised. Three years is a long time but I'll reflect on it overnight.
"I took full responsibility for it. It was a farcical situation, it really was.
"It didn't pan out particularly well on the day. Everybody looked at it and thought, 'That's unreal', which is what I thought on the touchline as well.
"But I had to hold my hands up."

The cover-up is thought to have involved Williams' face being deliberately cut after the Leinster match to hide the fact he had used a fake blood capsule.
Richards said: "I have no knowledge of that. I wasn't party to anything going on there.

"I'm not aware that it did happen. I know that he had a cut but I don't know how it came about because I wasn't in the room."


Dean Richards


TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE


Fleegle.

[Fleegle]

Cow Economics

SOCIALISM:
You have two cows
and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have two cows
The Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have two cows
The Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have two cows.
The Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have two cows
The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows
But you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows
None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRISH FARMER:
You have two cows.
You claim government subsidies for eight cows

[Zoggite]

I feel left out - what, no jokes about Belgian cows?

[Fleegle]

Sorry Zoggy...

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she’s French, other times she’s Flemish.
The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

Fleeg.

[DavidS]

ROYAL PHARMACEUTICAL SOCIETY CORPORATION

You have two cows. You make a bull from the next farm legally responsible for the quality of the cow's milk.

[Fleegle]

The Cow Patch

Whilst I am on the subject of cows, I have just thought of the 'Cow Patch'. A brilliant money-spinner used in many summer GAA open days here in the west of Ireland. Half an acre of land is lined out in 2-foot grid-fashion by the club groundsman. It is then fenced off, and a well-fed single cow is allowed to wander freely around the grid. Bets are placed on which square the cow will ‘make a deposit’ if you will.
Hours of endless fun for all the family, along with the possibility of making a few bob.

Here’s an example …



Fleeg.

[DavidS]

Jokes about Irish girls waiting for a Pat to arrive spring to mind.

[Twinkle]

woahhhhh - edge of the seat stuff that !!!

Beats the "be the fastest to bang 3 nails into a piece of wood for a euro" game.