Who cares what you think of me

[rafhelp]

Is what others think of you more important than what you think of yourself?

[DavidS]

Why should one be better than another? The fact is that from my perspective, both are largely illusory.

First: What I think of myself. How do I arrive at this valuation? Normally it is by my own impression of what "significant others" think and thought of me, in particular during my childhood. It is unusual for anyone to do any kind of accurate appraisal of themselves, or even to inquire closely into their choice of valuation criteria - which, again, is usually found upon dissection to be inherited from parents, family, society, etc.

Second:What others think of me. Narcissists should look away now!-I have bad news for you. As far as others are concerned, you barely have a bit-part in the story of their lives. Most people are so preoccupied with how they appear to others that they have little time or energy to really LOOK at you. Basically, your importance to them is dependant on the degree that you help or hinder them to feel as if they are maintaining THEIR image as they would wish.

Of course, we all hope that our parents and family are exceptions to this rule. Let's hope. I suspect that for most of us the exception is only partial.

[rafhelp]

heres one scenario.

You work somewhere. Now youre confident in yourself. you know youre a decent person. You get on with your work and try to do the right thing.

But the owner or person(s) in charge dont like you. Now becuase the majority of the people working for them are like sheep, they also think of you as the 'bad guy' and treat you so. YOu would to really go out your way to make these people think of you fondly.

Regardless of what you think of yourself, your time in that place will not be enjoyable or even untolerable because of what others think of you, or be it what ONE person thinks of you.

This kind of thing is also seen in media. The media could turn a well respected celebrity into someone despised or hated simply by publishing a few articles. Now when it comes to these sort of people i.e celebrity, performers, what others think is probably more important.

[marble]

It doesn't matter what others think of you if you are doing the correct thing. You need to always reassure yourself and keep a mental distance from them because you know that they are not the same train of thought as you. Otherwise if you worry about what they think then you will get bad habits. If it is the right thing then they will understand in the long run. But really it doesn't matter whether or not they understand because you are setting a good standard which they will have to work to which will improve their working aswell.

[hibernia]

This kind of thing is also seen in media. The media could turn a well respected celebrity into someone despised or hated simply by publishing a few articles. Now when it comes to these sort of people i.e celebrity, performers, what others think is probably more important.

The media build 'celebrities' up just so they can knock them down.
Most successful performers, be they singers, footballers or whatever, are usually level-headed enough not to worry too much about the media. The really successful ones like Madonna use the media very effectively but I'm sure she has her own opinion of herself, based on how she interacts with her family and friends, and that is detached from her media image.

[DavidS]

Pharmacy is an unusual career, isn't it. Unlike any other profession I can think of, we do our work in the full view of other people, staff, assistants, technicians, who have a good insight and experience of what we are doing, and many of whom are just as intelligent and resourceful as we are.

Doctors, solicitors, accountants and dentists all have special skills that the public and their assistants know they don't have. Ours are more subtle and hidden, only really showing themselves occasionally, and this means that even our paymasters have little idea of our abilities and function.

Yet, because of dedication, opportunity, luck, whatever, we have found ourselves in a position superior to them in terms of status and salary.

I do think that it would be difficult for all but the most balanced of those people not to harbour a teensy bit of resentment, or at least to be conscious of the difference in our life-stories.

[Tony Schofield]

In principle I agree with David. However, what you are describing is a situation at work where you don't feel valued. That may be your perception and quite untrue or it may be your perception and completely true.

If you feel undervalued you will not do as well as if you were happy and confident so your employer, if he is sensible, should be looking to improve your performance and motivating you positively. Therefore I think you should approach him and discuss your worries. Do you not have periodic appraisals? If not you should request them.

The employers' response to this request will say an awful lot. If they readily agree then that is fantastic and you should grasp the opportunity whilst being aware that you may hear things you don't want to. It may be that you are underperforming but at least you have the opportunity to identify it and agree an action plan to address it. Say a training course or some targeted CPD etc.

However if they are reluctant then you need to find a job somewhere else. You will never convince them and it is a waste of time trying.

Good luck.