The boys dun good

[Gowan]

and I have several more grey hairs, with most of the rest falling out.

So England march on, and Sunday is when the action starts with a vengeance. Yes, it's the new series of Top Gear!

[culchie82]

Fair play to them, they were under tremendous pressure to get through to the next round however I wouldn't get carried away with all the hype and emotion. If they come up against one of the Latin teams they will be passed off the park and the inevitable post mortem will follow.

[Nik]

Despite losing to Serbia, Germany have enough in the tank to see off Ghana and will probably top the group tonight meaning England will face them in the last 16. If England manage to beat the Germans, their most likely opponent in the quarters would be Argentina. So all in all I don't fancy England's chances. Let the fans get plastered tonight - tomorrow they'll realise how important drawing to Algeria was.

[Fleegle]

In a serious attempt to prevent Gowan from doing a complete 'Charlton' I will be the first to bring up 1966 to try to cheer him up.

My question regarding that glorious year is: Does anyone know how many of the 1966 England world cup squad are still alive?

Answers on a postcard to..

Jim Baxter Appreciation Society,
Hampden Park,
Glasgow.

[Nik]

Cannot decide if this goes in the Poor Jokes section or here. Anyway:

50°F
People in Southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh put out bedding plants

40°F
Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

35°F
Cars in the South of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

20°F
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a t-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

15°F
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

0°F
Life in the South grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

-10°F
Life in the South ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

-80°F
Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

-100°F
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
People in Stirling put on their 'long johns'

-173°F
Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

-297°F
Microbial life starts to disappear
The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

-460°F
All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

-500°F
Hell freezes over
Scotland will support England in the World cup

[Gowan]

-500°F addendum
Scotland qualify for the second round of the World cup, thus joining their other representative (a referee)

Great stuff Nikolai. Fell about laughing at your post.

[Fleegle]

Nice one Nik!

Wouldn't it be bliss if the temperature remained at a constant -11 though?

Fleeg

Thought you might like this as well..

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&source...dCTVr1J0dgWrhw

[Nik]

Cheeky Fleeg , although I distinctly remember another England v Scotland match which I've summarised below:

It is just before Scotland v England in the World Cup Group game.

Rooney goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered".

Rooney looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Rooney goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few beers they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - scotland 0 (Rooney 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium, "England 1 (Rooney 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against scotland all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes".

[Gowan]

England are in with a good chance on Sunday. After all, Kaiser Franz Beckenbauer and the entire German media machine are doing all they can to psych up the boys!

And of course our ever-faithful cheer leaders in Scotland, Wales and ROW.

[Fleegle]

An England v Germany match has always been the exception..

I'm right behind you on this one lads..I'll be watching it in Lineker's bar Puerto del Carmen.

Hope you stuff them..just don't go on about it for 50 years if you do

Fleeg.