Installing a wife

[Jeff]

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the HotInTheCot and Pubmate applications, which operated flawlessly under Girlfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Wife 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Playmate 9.5 and WashMyCar 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as Shopaholic 3.1, Spendthrift 2.1, BathHog 3.0, GottaHeadache 1.3 and LotsaChores 2.0. I also found a program FrumpyGirl 3.1 on my hard-drive and suspect that may also have been installed by Wife 1.0 .

ListenToMyDay 8.0 no longer runs, and GottaCutBack 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Reasoning 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

.................................................. .

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Girlfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Wife 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I ThoughtYouReallyCared.html" and try to download IWorkBloodyHard 6.2 and don't forget to install the GuiltTrip 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Wife 1.0 should then automatically run the applications HotInTheCot 2.0 and Pubmate 3.5. HotInTheCot however seems to slow down with continued use and no patch is yet available to remedy it.

But remember also, overuse of the above application can cause Wife 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, AfternoonPokies 6.1 or, at worst, NoDinner 3.2 .

NoDinner 3.2 is a very bad program that will download the ForeverTakeaway Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Girlfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Wife 1.0.

In summary, Wife 1.0 is a reasonable program, but it does have limited usability and is inclined to interfere with existing applications. You might consider buying additional software to improve usability and performance.

We recommend WineMeDineMe 6.1, Flowers 1.4 and Lingerie 3.0.

Good Luck, Tech Support

[kemzero]

My advice to Wife 1.0 is to olbiterate /decimate her installer/programmer after which she should delete and empty the recycling bin for good


No offence ...just an opinion.. what d'ya think gals

[lamzee]

..or she could just tell him that his memory stick is too small.

[Aries]

..........or that his dongle is jiggling about and not put in properly.

[the old merlin]

That only happens after Wife 1 has run for a long time, and you have also installed (and re-installed two or three times) Brood 1.

[The Druid]

It sounds like Wife v1 thinks it needs a bigger hard drive to run properly. However under no circumstances should you be tempted to run any version of Girlfriend at the same time, or the new Wife v2 or Wife v3 etc, as the same problem will only return to haunt you. This is an inherant bug in all wife systems!
Best thing to do is to install flee-with-cash v3.5 and apply an effective firewall to prevent any further IRQs from previous programs.