Christmas Fun : How to keep your Area Manager Happy

[Pharmanaut]

...subtitled "How to keep them off your back".

Anyone want to contribute.

I'll get things going.
Use some phrases from the Buzzword generator.
dack.com > web > web economy bullshit generator

Add some of your own... and drop it into your next conversation...
What do you think about a strategy to deliver visionary niches by exploiting gaps in the critical christmas barometer period?

Use this in your next weekly report... "orchestrate strategic vortals"

For more inspiration check out Dilbert...
Dilbert.com - The Official Dilbert Website by Scott Adams - Dilbert, Dogbert and Coworkers!

Here's a good place if you want to learn some management stuff and get ahead.
Businessballs - free business training, free learning resources, ideas, and materials for ethical personal development, self-improvement and organisational development

Here's a good story from that website...
the monkey story (company policy, organizational development, group behaviour, group beliefs, inertia and assumptions)
Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.
Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.
The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.
To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.
The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.
Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one.
The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.
Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.
Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.

Why not?

Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been around here.

And that's how company policy begins ...

[the old merlin]

Like it; some middle management I know would get VERY huffy!

[Pharmanaut]

Originally Posted by the old merlin

Like it; some middle management I know would get VERY huffy!

Just a little bit of "Non destructive testing".

Lets plan a big one for them for April 1st....

How about to make drug selection easier on GP systems they will be prefixing all products with "Co-" as it will then be easier for patients to remember the names of there drugs as they will just need to ask for "co-" something.

[Linnear]

Was looking for the manager/engineer hot air balloon joke but found this:

http://www.drcetiner.org/mod/glossar...&sortorder=asc


Merry Christmas!

[Pharmanaut]

Originally Posted by Linnear

Was looking for the manager/engineer hot air balloon joke but found this:

http://www.drcetiner.org/mod/glossar...&sortorder=asc


Merry Christmas!

Linnear,
Nice one.
I had to borrow this one.
Please substitute Area Manager, Regional Manager, Merchanising Manager, Plan-o-gram Designer where appropriate.

Engineer Cannibals:
Five cannibals get appointed as engineers in a defense company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says, "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat. So please don't trouble any of the other employees." The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our janitors has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"

The cannibals all shake their heads no.

After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others, "Which of you idiots ate the janitor?"

A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replies, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Supervisors and Project Managers and no one noticed anything, and you have to go and eat the janitor!"