Here's a good one.
I was in a shop and saw a lass steal something and run out the front. She didn't know that the back door led to the alley she had just run down. We headed her off and caught her red handed.
She pulled out a syringe full of blood - yuk! I told her that if she stuck that in me, I'd ram it in her ******* eye!
She dropped it, and put her swag bag on the floor. As I leaned over to open the bag, she nade a run for it. The pharmacy owner's son was there (Saturday lad) and ran after her. He grabbed her up the road, and was shouting for me to get there ASAP. Now because I have a false hip I can't run, so briskly walked and just got there in time to grab the little b***h.
The owners son went back to the shop to call the police, and I held her outside a shop. She tried to run again, but I got a good grip of her, and forced her backwards. I didn't realise, but we had entered the open door of a butchers shop!
The butcher asked what the hell was going on, and I explained the situation to him. He told me to sit her down on a chair in the corner so I did. She told him the usual f**k off, and he just slammed this great big meat cleaver on his block, and told her if she didn't shut up he'd chop off her hand for stealing! The cops arrived and carted her away to a whole barrage of abuse.
I went back later and bought a couple of fillet steaks off him for our tea!
It's great fun being a pharmacist, but I think they need to add a bit of SAS type training to the degree course!
